Guitar Hero Is For Dumbshits

Recently I have noticed many people getting all excited over the Guitar Hero game series. First off the game isn’t even named correctly. It should be called “Expensive 5 Button Controller Hero”. The only resemblance this thing has to a real guitar is that it is roughly shaped like one. This game is much like the Dance Dance Revolution crap that was going around some time ago. Double amputees everywhere rejoice as this game does not require feet.

To help quell some of the bullshit I have put together a few videos to show the difference between guitar playing and button mashing.

Ready? Here we go.

This is someone with real talent playing a “real” guitar. Notice there are no colored buttons and the absence of that obnoxious clicking sound.


Next we have a no talent ass hat that can push buttons really fast. Also featured are his friends who are amazed by his button pushing awesomeness. (Warning: Watching this entire video will cause your IQ to drop considerably. You’ve been warned.)


The amazing Andy Mckee. Who not only creates fantastic harmony but manages the percussion at the same time. 


Here is another video that shows the darker side of this Guitar Hero phenomenon.


Back to some serious talent.



This kid gets major points for style and the fact that he destroys the “guitar shaped controller” at the end.

So in closing, I know some of you are having fun with this game. You aren’t the people I’m talking to. I’m talking to the people that feel “extra special” because you can mash some colored buttons and animated crowds cheer your name. I assure you…. you people are speshul! In that short bus, window licker kind of way.

Don’t agree? Sorry…. Don’t really care.

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